We all like to believe that we’re in control of our destinies. But let’s be real here for a moment—we don’t get to hold the remote control of our lives at all times. Heck, we can’t even control how much traffic we’ll experience during our daily commute, much less find love.
If you have read Razor Bumps and Stretch Marks, you may have noticed that love comes up a lot. The reason is self-evident—for many of us mere mortals, destination love is often at the end of a “broken road,” which is why that Rascall Flats song “Bless the Broken Road” became such a hit at weddings (including yours truly’s). Hopefully as you read through all the poems about romance, you hear familiar echoes that help you realize you are not alone.
A couple pieces of advice: first, discover yourself. Who are you, what do you want, and what do you say when you talk to yourself? Your self-concept matters because we tend to attract who we are. I am familiar with the “opposites attract” cliché, but it is not universally true. We are complex human beings, but the more things partners have in common, the stronger the foundation if you’re interested in building a long-term relationship.
Second, define what love looks like for you, and make sure both parties understand it.
Third, learn what it will take to manage conflict.
Beyond that, love requires us to make a whole series of very personal decisions, and each relationship is an adventure best experienced and defined by those in it. Relax—love tends to find us in the most unlikely places, and often while you’re busy being you.
Reference
Agris, Christy Rose. 2016. “You’ll Find Love As Soon As You Stop Searching For It.” Thought Catalog, August 22. Accessed February 27, 2017. http://thoughtcatalog.com/christy-rose-agris/2016/08/youll-find-love-as-soon-as-you-stop-searching-for-it/.